One of the first things to become bypassed in someone’s life as their dementia progresses and they become more reliant on social care can be their faith, beliefs or spirituality. This is often as a result of professionals caring for them feeling very uncomfortable about anything religious or spiritual and dismissing it, actions that echo the words of a famous adviser to a former UK Prime Minister who once said, “We don’t do God”.
It is, however, vital to recognise that many people actively want to ‘do God’ or indeed follow any other religion or belief structure, and it is absolutely their right to do so. This is particularly true when someone’s health deteriorates, or they have been diagnosed with a terminal illness. In those times many people draw strength from their faith, and no one should deny them that or say that they cannot, least of all those who are charged with their care.
Whilst you can exercise your right to follow your chosen path of belief or spirituality in almost every situation life can throw at you, living with dementia has a tendency to gradually remove that autonomy. If you actively practice a faith, you will then potentially need support to fulfil that calling in your life, and understanding from those around you who may come from different backgrounds and cultures.
I have seen both the positive and negative approaches to supporting someone who is living with dementia within the context of their religious beliefs. The positives were largely in relation to my father, who received regular pastoral support, particularly during the last few years of his life and during his end-of-life. This was largely due to good fortune, however, as another relative in his care home happened to be a practicing clergyman who visited his mother daily, and was happy to provide pastoral support in his professional capacity to anyone else in the home. There were also monthly services that residents could attend, and the hymn singing was always a particular favourite with dad.
Sadly a Muslim lady had a far more negative experience when she moved into the home. Despite requiring a strict Halal diet, some carers were caught feeding this lady non-Halal meat. When these carers were questioned about the food, they said that this lady’s dementia was so severe she wouldn’t know what she was being given, and had been willing to eat it so it made no difference. Moreover, with the exception of one carer who was from the same cultural background as this lady, no others were able to correctly assist her to dress in a manner befitting her cultural and religious heritage.
Clearly the experiences this lady had did not represent good care, but they do perhaps give an insight into how easy it is considered to be to bypass that vital role of supporting someone to maintain their religious and cultural beliefs. Often a person with dementia cannot fight back against this, demand better or indeed remove themselves from what has to be considered a form of abuse, hence why we need a far greater emphasis on these elements of care.
Advocacy can help, as I discussed here, but fundamentally we need to ensure that care in the UK exists within the context of being person-centred, and doesn’t take the ‘easy’ route of ignoring someone’s faith or beliefs. Exploring the whole person means looking not just at the physical things like possessions and tangible choices that are often much easier to acknowledge, but also accounting for the things that don’t exist in a physical form and represent the spiritual.
For anyone who has a faith or belief structure, that spiritual side of their life is often far more important than the physical things that they are surrounded with. Yes a cross, beads, items of clothing or symbols associated with particular customs or festivals can bring incredible comfort, familiarity, joy and peace, and hymns, songs, chants and readings can provide fantastic therapy, but it will often be about the unspoken or otherwise untouchable things that their faith brings them that lie at the heart of their life.
Care plans include the opportunity to describe someone’s religion, but as we all know these are documents that are largely completed purely for regulatory purposes. To be blunt, questions about my dad’s religious beliefs were directly linked to the questions about the sort of funeral he would want when the time came. For the most part, the pastoral care that my dad had was due to the arrangements we made as a family, which begs the question, what happens to everyone else?
Routinely ignoring the spiritual needs of people with dementia is never going to represent good care. Where someone has a faith that they have previously actively pursued and wish to continue with, they must be supported to do that whether they are living in their own home and relying on regular visits from a faith leader or support to attend an act of worship, or are living in a care home, whose remit as a caring community should always include opportunities for regular worship and one-to-one pastoral care. Without these structures, there is a danger that the only spiritual support someone with dementia experiences will come from a hospital chaplain at a point of severe crisis, if indeed they have any support at all.
Engaging faith leaders in increasing their knowledge and understanding of dementia is an important step to ensuring that everyone who needs their support has it, but without social care embracing this key aspect of many people’s lives appropriate pastoral care for all will still be a long way off. Care is not about our own personal views; it’s about walking into someone else’s world and embracing everything about them, be it seen or unseen, and ensuring that all who want to have the opportunity to keep their faith alive can do so.
Until next time…
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2 thoughts on “Keep the faith”
Thank you for your kind comments Ken. I entirely agree with you. We were very fortunate in the support my dad received from the Church of England, but I'm very aware that it isn't the same for everyone. All faith leaders have an important role to play in helping people with a faith who are living with dementia to live well.
Thank you for a brilliant blog,. Religion is a major topic in dementia, as I feel many of us start to struggle with our religious beliefs after we are diagnosed, but it's very important to hang on to what ever it is we believe in. I do believe however that we need to engage more with religious leaders to make life that much easier, whether in churches or other forms of services
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